Hello. It's been a long time since I posted and I am not going to apologize. I am tired of putting others in front of me. I really do. It's been like that for the last fifteen or sixteen years. I have put off writing entries in this blog because I realized I wasn't writing for me but for you and need to be more selfish. I needed a break but now realized it was therapeutic writing what I felt.
I, finally, graduated college. I just applied to some grad schools, hopefully, it'll workout. I have applied to some jobs but it's hard to get interviews. I keep on plugging away but sometime in my gut I just want to give up. There's a person who pulls me back up when I am down. I trust this person more than anyone else and wouldn't trade them for anything.
There's a fact that I read it states: "During a relationship you lose two friends". I felt like when my friends got into their relationship that I was one of the friends. But the one's that hurt was my roommate, Kash, and my cousin, Naveen. Naveen got married in March of 2010, I knew this was going to happen, but he said it wouldn't. He stopped calling or attempting to talk to me for a few months. I left messages and rarely got responses. He called when it was convenient for him. He still does it, I honestly don't know if it's on purpose or not. Kash got married in October of 2011. In the beginning of his relationship (2005), he would abandon all of our plans for her. I understood that at the time but it progressively got worse as time went on. He wondered what he did wrong when I confronted him. After we all moved out (2007), he barely talked to me , although I called and left texts. Finally we started to get back in touch in 2009 and has been great since.
My mom has been sick off and on for the past decade and a half. I have been taking care of the family since. I really want to live life. I felt like I did my fair share and move on. I want to get a job, get married, and start a family. I feel like if I did that my family won't survive, because the last time I left it almost fell apart. I am getting up there in age haven't experience anything in life. This is the time for me to be selfish. I have goals setup for the next three years of my life. I will accomplish them. I have confidence in myself to get the job done. I don't care what anybody says.
I, finally, graduated college. I just applied to some grad schools, hopefully, it'll workout. I have applied to some jobs but it's hard to get interviews. I keep on plugging away but sometime in my gut I just want to give up. There's a person who pulls me back up when I am down. I trust this person more than anyone else and wouldn't trade them for anything.
There's a fact that I read it states: "During a relationship you lose two friends". I felt like when my friends got into their relationship that I was one of the friends. But the one's that hurt was my roommate, Kash, and my cousin, Naveen. Naveen got married in March of 2010, I knew this was going to happen, but he said it wouldn't. He stopped calling or attempting to talk to me for a few months. I left messages and rarely got responses. He called when it was convenient for him. He still does it, I honestly don't know if it's on purpose or not. Kash got married in October of 2011. In the beginning of his relationship (2005), he would abandon all of our plans for her. I understood that at the time but it progressively got worse as time went on. He wondered what he did wrong when I confronted him. After we all moved out (2007), he barely talked to me , although I called and left texts. Finally we started to get back in touch in 2009 and has been great since.
My mom has been sick off and on for the past decade and a half. I have been taking care of the family since. I really want to live life. I felt like I did my fair share and move on. I want to get a job, get married, and start a family. I feel like if I did that my family won't survive, because the last time I left it almost fell apart. I am getting up there in age haven't experience anything in life. This is the time for me to be selfish. I have goals setup for the next three years of my life. I will accomplish them. I have confidence in myself to get the job done. I don't care what anybody says.
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